Friday, 23 November 2012

13th Week Stats

How far along: 
13 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 
lost 4 pounds

Maternity clothes:
bought some today, but really only need pants

Stretch marks:
no new ones that I know of....not really tracking.

getting sore.....I think I need a pillow between my legs now

Best moment this week:

Not that I feel

Food cravings:

Food aversions:
nothing specific now....but there are a lot of things that once I start eating them, I feel like I cant anymore

I guess sore hips when sleeping....still a little more tired then normal....nothing much really


Belly Button in or out:

What I miss:
Grande Non Fat Tazo Chai Latte

What I am looking forward to:
People cluing in that I am pregnant

Completed the 1st Tri!!!

Saturday, 10 November 2012

Doctor's Appointment

I had my doctors appointment with my GP on Tuesday. At this appointment I was able to find out how far along I am based on my Ultrasound. Apparently according to my ultrasound that I had at 9+6 I was only 9+1. I am not accepting this date.

For this cycle I was, I was tracking my BBT, using OPK, tracking when we had sex, and I took clomid. I know exactly when I ovulated. I know that it is impossible for me to be 5 days behind, because you kinda have to have sex to get pregnant, and we didn't 5 days after I ovulated (or 4 or 3 or 2).

My doctor is very much into tracking cycles, so I told her this, and told her the day I ovulated. I said that we had sex 2 days before and 1 day after I ovulated. Because of this, she is moving my due date from May 31, to June 1. This I am ok with. She is keeping the June 5 due date in her back pocket. If I end up going late (because both me and my sister were 2 weeks late) and everything is going fine with the baby, she will move my due date to put off possible induction :)   She is awesome

I got to hear the baby's heartbeat this week which was AMAZING!!! I didn't get to hear it at the US, which was crappy. My baby is really low. She had a hard time find it, until she went really low, and pointed the doppler more downwards. It was 175bpm :)  This appointment I was 10+4, I don't think I would have heard it had I been 9+6 like the US says.

My next ultrasound is on November 23 for the prenatal screening. I cant wait to see it again......and to see how big it will be then!! :)

11 Week Update

How far along
11 +1 (or 11, or 10+3.....explanation to come)

Total weight gain/loss
1 pound

Maternity clothes:
Not yet

Stretch marks:
no new ones

Crappy....still. I wake up at least twice to pee, and just having a bad sleep all around

Best moment this week:
Hearing the heartbeat at my doctors appointment

Not that I'm aware of

Food cravings:
dill pickle chip dip

Food aversions:
not sure if eggs is till on there. Haven't come in contact

peeing all the time, lack of sleep, slightly sore boobs.


Belly Button in or out:

What I miss:
Great Sleep!

What I am looking forward to:
Telling everyone that we are expecting!! :)

Passed the point in which I had a MMC last pregnancy

Saturday, 3 November 2012

10 Week Update

How far along

Total weight gain/loss
1 pound; I could probably just go to the bathroom

Maternity clothes:

Stretch marks:
No Change

Still kinda meh!

Best moment this week:
Having my first Ultrasound!!!!

Not yet

Food cravings:
nothing specific

Food aversions:

hurts now when I have to pee.....


Belly Button in or out:

What I miss:
being able to go hours and hours without having to pee

What I am looking forward to:
Announcing our pregnancy to the world

The Ultrasound, and a heart rate of 180bpm

First Ultrasound

Happy and Relieved

Sunday, 28 October 2012

9th Week Update

How far along
9 weeks + 2 days

Total weight gain/loss
Zero (thankfully, already have enough weight)

Maternity clothes:

Stretch marks:
Just what I already had

Horrible. I wake up to pee multiple times during the night and my hips hurt.

Best moment this week:
Telling my Dad and Step Mom that I was pregnant.

Do gas bubbles count???

Food cravings:
I don't have specific cravings. There are days when there is one specific thing I want, but not a continuous craving.

Food aversions:
Eggs, and the smell of onions. I can smell them a mile away and I don't like it.

Frequent urination, nausea, little more hungry than normal

Not finding out

Belly Button in or out:

What I miss:
So far, not missing much

What I am looking forward to:
My ultrasound on Thursday

I don't feel like I have had one yet.

Sunday, 14 October 2012

7th Week Update

Today I am 7+2.

Not too much to update really.
I got the phone call from the hospital about my ultrasound, which will be on November 1. I will be 9+6 on that day.

It is going to be a very nerve racking time until then. I think weeks 8-10 will be the worst, because of my last pregnancy going horrible during this time.

I still haven't heard from the Midwives, which I should have by Tuesday. I guess I will call on Monday.

My boobs are getting worse, which is making sleeping more difficult. Nausea was going away, but seems to be creeping back. I think it just depends on the day. I am having aversion to some foods. My husband made a fried egg the other day, and the smell of it made me want to throw up!!! Tonight I made pot roast in the slow cooker  and went to have a nap when it was cooking. The smell of it when I was waking up was not pleasant  It tasted fine, just smelled yucky! I am definitely sleeping more. All I have wanted to do is take a nape all weekend, so I did :) A new thing now is that I am hungry like every 3 hours. This is not good because I was hoping to gain very little weight, as I am plus size already, but at this rate I will be huge!

Wednesday, 10 October 2012


So yesterday afternoon I went to my first prenatal appointment with my family doctor. She was so excited that I was pregnant, because my sister is also pregnant right now, and because she knows how much I have been trying, and that it happened so quick with clomid.

She told me that my first US would be a while from now, unless I wanted an early one, which I jumped on in 2.2 seconds. I told her that I wanted one for piece of mind, and to rule out the chance for multiples.

They only have dopplers at the doctors office, so she would have to send a request to the hospital for the US. She is asking one for 3-4 weeks from now.....seems SOOOO far away to be honest! I have a feeling that the first 12 weeks of pregnancy are extremely slow for everyone. 

I am still waiting to hear back from the Midwives. They did tell me it would be 2 weeks, which means October 9, as the 8 was a holiday, but nothing yet. 

Sigh.....more waiting.

I got a bit of a scare tonight and it is making me very nervous. I went to the bathroom, and there was some brown spotting/mucous in my underwear. Nothing when I wiped. I am having no cramping. This is how my miscarriage started. I am not sure how I would be able to handle another miscarriage. It would hurt me so much.

My doctor told me that if there is any bleeding to call her. If by Thursday morning there is nothing else, then I think I will be ok. If there is more, then I am going to call her. I WILL NOT go to the ER again. That was one of the most horrible experiences of my life and I am not putting myself through that again.....ugh!

Keeping my fingers crossed and high hopes

Sunday, 7 October 2012

6th Week Update

First off....

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!  to those of us in Canada!! :)

ok, now my update.

Today I am 6+2, and to be honest this week has been pretty boring.

My breasts definitely hurt more this week than they did last week. Stairs are still not my friend, and lying in bed and squishing them is painful.

Cramping has lessened. Still there sometimes, but not much to really worry about. Honestly I think some of the cramps are are gas pains. Speaking of gas.... I have never wished I could fart as much as I do now. I know I know, way more information than you really needed but's tied to a symptom. I am still so constipated. I haven't had a bowel movement since like Wednesday at the latest. It is now Sunday morning.

That's pretty much it for symptoms, at least what I can think of right now.

I am still waiting for a call from the Midwives. They said they would call me in 2 weeks, which is Monday, but I'm impatient. Especially since Monday is Thanksgiving here in Canada, so I wont get a call earlier than Tuesday.

I called my GP and asked about getting a prenatal appointment, and to see if it is possible to have an early ultrasound. My appointment is on Tuesday, so fingers crossed that they will book one for me. I want one partially because I'm nervous about having another miscarriage, so maybe having an US between 8-10 weeks will ease my mind, as long as I hear the heartbeat. I also want one to rule out multiples. The midwives where I live consider multiple pregnancies as high risk so they will not take you on. I would like to know this right away, so I don't waste there time or mine, and I would like to have appointments booked with my GP then.

Sunday, 30 September 2012

5 Weeks Update

Today I am 5+2 pregnant. My plan is to these updates each week on Friday when my week turns over, but you kinda gets in the way.
Here is an update of my 5th week of pregnancy.

I told my husband, along with my mother I was pregnant when I was 4 weeks. I told my mom right away because when I had the MC last year, she told me no matter what she wants to know when I am pregnant again, so she can be there for me if needed.

I have felt nauseous this last week, mostly once I got to work, which is about 2 hours after getting up. 

I am crampy, but nothing bad. Feels almost like someone has a bunch of ropes attached to my insides, and they are being pulled; sometimes all at once, sometimes at random times.

I've had heartburn for years already, so this is not new to me. What seems different is that it seems like the heartburn has been travelling more north than before. There are times when I am feeling the burn more in my throat instead of just my chest.

My boobs hurt! Not as much as I thought they would, which I am uber thankful for. My nipples always hurt, but the boobs really only hurt when I take my bra off. Stairs + no bra = NO FUN!

I cant sleep properly. Sleep for a few hours, then up for a while, then sleep, then up, then sleep.....etc etc. It has made the 12 hour work days seem extra long.

I am slightly constipated. I can still go, but definitely not as often as normal. I get crampy for a couple days until I am able to. It is a very uncomfortable feeling.

I'm craving pickles. I know I know, so cliche!! But I cant get enough of them. I could probably eat a whole jar. Last year all I wanted was grilled cheese sandwiches.

I am looking at these symptoms as a good thing. So is J
My last pregnancy, besides the cravings, I felt much of nothing. I don't remember being uncomfortable at all. Maybe the last pregnancy was doomed from the moment it started. 

Saturday, 22 September 2012

Overdue Update

I have been a bad blogger, and have not been able to find the time to sit and write. It probably doesn't help that my computer has been in for repair for a week now UGH!! but that is another story.

Now for my TTC update.
For about just over a week now, while at work I have been feeling just... off.
At work, I have been feeling a little sick. Not like I was going to vomit or anything, but just not well. My heartburn was also worse than normal.

By the time I get home from work (after working 12 hours) I used to be able to stay up a good 2 hours before going to bed. Lately, I get home and within 45 minutes I am crashing on the couch. I go to bed, and can only sleep for 2 hours at a time, then up for 30-45 minutes, then sleep for another 2 hours. This was really making working 12 hours difficult.

On CD27 - 12dpo, my BBT temp plummeted from 36.87 to 36.48, and below the coverline. The next day the temp raised very very slightly, and my CM was tinged brown. At this point I accepted that my first cycle on clomid was a failure.

On CD29 - 14dpo, the day before AF was due, my temperature jumped right back up to 36.89. I didn't have any of my normal AF symptoms, like cramping, so I thought I would use a cheapie to test.

The test was very faint, but the line appeared right away.
I got dressed and drove to Shoppers immediately to get a couple tests. Went home, tested again and this is what happened..................

I am so excited and nervous at the same time. This is my first pregnancy since the MC i had in May last year. I am worried that it will happen again.

So today, I am 4+1 and due May 31, 2013.

Sunday, 26 August 2012

Bring on the Hormones!

I'm out this cycle.
On to cycle 34.

I am sitting here on CD 3, getting a little nervous about what is going to start in 2 days. In 2 days I will begin taking clomid for the first time. I am also excited as I'm not sure what is in store this cycle.

I know that clomid can alter your moods, but I have no idea how much it will affect me. I have been having spurts of bad mood lately, so I feel that there is a strong possibility that I just may rip someones face off. I guess I should give some people a forewarning.

I am also trying to figure out the job part of my life. I'm starting to not be so happy where I am, but it is hard to give it up. It pays decent, and has paid vacation and benefits. I had an interview somewhere else, pays less which I'm fine with, has benefits as well, but may only be part time to start. I don't think that is something J and I can handle right now financial wise, but it's hard to weight happiness over money.

Thursday, 23 August 2012

Losing My Sanity, One Trip to the Bathroom at a Time

Now I remember how I have been able to keep my sanity over these last 3 years of TTC!!!!


UGH! I am driving myself crazy thinking about testing every day!
I have already POAS twice this week, which is just silliness. Right now I am sitting at 13dpo. Last time I had a BFP, I had a negative at 14dpo, and didn't have a positive until 19dpo, and even then on the cheapie it was weak.

BFP from March 2011 cycle

Monday, 20 August 2012

Much of Nothing in the TWW

Not much really to update right now....just hanging out in the two week wait....just waiting for AF to come, or preferably not come.

Looking at my past charts, I have learned that I need to track a little better. There are days that I didn't track when I took my meds, didn't track when we had sex..... le sigh

my chart seemed to do something this cycle that it has never done before. There is a significant jump on 9 and 10 dpo. Could be something hopeful, could just be some odd luck. Until about CD 32 or later, I'm not getting my hopes up.

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

Don't start obsessing!

I try not to be the kind of person that stresses or obsesses over my cycles.  I learned very early on in my ttc journey that this could just lead to a lot of pain and unessasary headaches. 

This cycle feels different I guess. Maybe I am a little more hopeful.  I compared this months fertility friend chart to the cycle where I got pregnant.  I set it up so the cover line and the ovulation lines were lined up with each other and this is what I got.  It's eeryly pretty close.

Monday, 13 August 2012


I decided to use a bunch of OPKs this cycle, so I can actually determine if they work properly for me, and if I am ovulating on my own.

This picture is from CD 8 (right) every day to CD 17 (left). You can clearly see that I had a definite positive!!! :) This matched with my BBT results, and CM, I ovulated on CD 17.

I'm not super hopeful for this cycle, as things came up, and the last time we tried was on CD 15. I am happy that OPKs work for me though.

Sunday, 12 August 2012

A to Z of TTC

A. Age when you started TTC: 25

B. Baby Dancing or Sex: Depends on what day of the cycle it is ;)

C. Children wanted: 3...but at this point I will be happy with 1

D. Dogs/Cats/Fill in Children: 1 dog, 2 cats

E. Essential Oils/Vitamins/Snake Oils: tried taking Soy, currerntly just prenatals

F. Fertility Meds I’ve taken: Metformin, and starting clomid next cycle

G. Gain: ummm weight....unfortunately. The joys of PCOS

H. HSG (Hystosalpingogram): not yet, but in the cards if not pregnant by December

I. Infertile Pet Peeves: How people act like it is so easy

J. Job title: Customer Care Representative

K. Kid’s names you’re afraid will be taken by the time you can use them: why would I mention them if I dont want them taken?

L. Length of time TTC: since July 2009 - almost 37 months

M. Miscarriages: 1 MMC, 1 possible Chemical

N. Number of times you’ve switched OB/GYNS, REs, FSs: I have just met my first FS. Unless I want to drive to another city 2 hours+ away, I wont be.

O. Ovarian quality: Cysty

P. POAS or wait for AF: Wait for AF, most of the time

Q. Quote from an obnoxious fertile: "just dont think about it and it will happen" Hard not to think about it when people are always asking about it.

S. Sperm: Great!

T. Time you tried naturally: 18 months

U. Uterus quality: as far as I know ok...never been tested

V. Vagina: Labia! Oh I thought we were naming parts here.

W. What baby stuff do you already have?: Way more than I should. Stroller, cloth diapers, diaper bag, clothes

X. X-tra X-tra Hear all about it! How many people know the ins and outs of our crazy TTC journey? Parents, Inlaws, sister, a couple friends

Y. Yearly Exam: The thing I acutally only have to go to once every 3 years, but somehow end up getting every year...

Z. Zits: never ever ever ever got zits on my face until I stopped taking BCP.... Le Sigh!

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

".....skipping this cycle."

I mentioned to J that were are close to the fertile time of the month, so we are going to want to time things correctly. He turns to me and says "I was thinking about skipping this cycle"


No reason as to why....It kinda threw me off, I didn't respond. I think he may be waiting for the clomid cycle; we have it why not wait to use it?
My theory is why miss out on a cycle. If we get pregnant this cycle, AWESOME!! If we end up possibly miscarrying again, then I have the clomid for next. If we don't get pregnant, then I have the clomid for next.

I think its silly to just skip a cycle, with no real reason.

Monday, 6 August 2012

I Would Die For That.

I Would Die For That - Kellie Coffey

I just came across this video today. Had to share it. 

Saturday, 4 August 2012

Walking on Sunshine

At my job, I currently work the night shift. I work 4 days a week, 8pm to 630am. Most of the time, even during the weekends, I am not outside when the sun is up. In the winter, the sun is like some imaginary object.

A bunch of us at work decided that after work, bright and early in the morning, we would start going for walks. We all have some weight to lose, and it gets us outside during the nice sunny weather, and of course we all need the motivation to get active.

I have to say that these walks have been amazing and exactly what I, and the others, have needed. I have lost about 10 pounds in the last month, which I'm pretty ecstatic about. I've learned that I really like going for walks, and I have come to realise that there are actual great, beautiful places to walk in my city. These walks have energized us, and made us feel better physically, and some even emotionally.

I never realised how much nature was in my city, until we started these walks. It has made me love where I live a little more.

Friday, 3 August 2012

$100.00 Baby

I was way more nervous about my appointment than I had to be.

I got there about 220pm for my 230pm appointment. I expected to sit in the waiting room for a long time, but was called back within 5minutes.
I sat in the actual room until about 250, when not my actual Fertility doctor came in, but a resident. This didn't really bother me, as I seem to always see a resident for something. She was uber nice, and easy to talk to, and didn't even mention my weight which I thought would be an issue.

We started by her getting some of my background information; how long have we been TTC, are my cycles normal, has J had a sperm analysis, etc etc etc. It would have probably been a good thing if my family doctor had forwarded a little more information over besides my referral letter, basic blood work and that I have PCOS. The clinic didn't even know how I was diagnosed with PCOS.

After our talk, having a full exam, and pap, and the fact that my cycles are actually pretty regular, her and the my Fertility doctor decided that going on Clomid would be the best for me! :)

I went and picked up my prescription, which has cost me $100.00 for three months, as well as my Rx for Metformin (which my doctor only gave me one months worth which makes no sense). I am on CD11 right now, so I just missed out on using it this cycle. The plan is for the next cycle, to take 50mg on CD 5-9, and to make sure we do what needs to be done on CD12 - 20. On CD 24, I am to go back to the clinic and have blood work to check my progesterone levels; to make sure that I actually ovulated.

If I don't get my period by CD40, I am supposed to take a HPT - who the heck is going to wait till CD40....really??!???!. If I get a negative, then I call the clinic to see if I in fact ovulated. If I ovulated, then I try again with the 50mg, If I didn't ovulate, then I try the next cycle with 100mg.

I have an appointment in December to follow up if the Clomid doesn't work for me and if I end up not ovulating. At that point they will see if there are other issues, like blocked tubes etc.

I hope in the next 3 cycles this works out for me!!! A $100.00 baby will definitely be worth it!!!

Apprehensive, Worried.....

...... Nervous!

Yup, have to say that I am a lot more nervous than I thought I was going to be. In just under 12 hours is my fertility appointment. I have no idea what to expect. I have no idea if anything will happen. Will she decide right then that I am eligible to take clomid or femara? Will she want to do more tests for my PCOS? Will she decide that I have to lose more weight before she will help?

ACK! I just dont know....I hope I will get some sleep tonight!

Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Throw Away the Birth Control

I got married to my husband, J, on June 27, 2009. After our honeymoon in July, we decided to throw away the birth control and jump on the TTC wagon. At this point we had already been together 6.5 years, and the timing felt right.
Pretty much from the get go I started tracking my BBT. In the beginning my cycles were pretty average, 28-30 days long, and I thought "Perfect!! I should get pregnant in a few months no problem".

After a few cycles, I noticed a few symptoms. I had gained about 40lbs in 3 months, even though I had not changed my eating and exercise habits. I noticed that I was growing more facial hair above my lips, started getting skin tags, and my cycles were gradually getting longer and longer.

January 2010, on day 34 of my cycle, I decided to test .... BFN. Day 42.... BFN. Day 53....BFN. Day 57....BFN. Day 69....BFN. 

On day 71 of this cycle, after 3 days of spotting, I got a very very faint BFP. It was so faint, to this day somethings I wonder if I did see anything at all. I also wonder if it was actually a chemical this day I don't know 100% for sure. 
Finally after 74 days, AF had arrived. She hung out for a while. She was like that annoying houseguest that wont leave.....for 54 DAYS!!!! I knew something was not right. That is a long time to go without AF, and then a long time to go with it. It was time for me to see the doctor.

In May 2010, a few ultrasounds, and some viles of blood determined that I had Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome with Insulin Resistance. I now had an answer, but was worried that this meant an even longer road ahead for me. I was convinced that I would become pregnant in less than a year....and at this point 10 months had already passed.

Seven months later, and still no change. At this point I was put on 1000mg of metformin. I noticed by the second cycle that it had helped my cycles. They became more consistent and shorter (more like 32 days).

After 4 cycles of taking metformin, in April 2011, I FINALLY got my BFP!!!!

I was beyond excited that it had FINALLY happened for me! Family who had been waiting even longer than us to have children were ecstatic! They were all ready and excited for a new family member. I felt like everything had finally fallen into place.

At about 9.5 weeks, I noticed that I started spotting brown. Immediately I started to panic inside, but didn want to show that I was scared on the outside. After 2 days of this, and it starting to get a little heavier, I decided it was time to go to the hospital. I was there for 15 LOOOOONG hours, when I was finally told that I had a miscarriage, and the baby had only developed to 8 weeks. :(

It was hard to take, for me, J, and our families....but it was something we had to get past if we were going to continue to TTC.

Not much has gone on for me since then. A few months ago I went back to the doctor about getting a referral to see a Fertility Specialist. I assumed it would be at least a year wait, but fortunately for us, we have an appointment this Friday! I am hoping I am a candidate for clomid of femara. I feel like I have a chance to get pregnant if my body can ovulate.

Fingers Crossed!!!!!

Monday, 30 July 2012


Hey blog world!

So here is where I introduce myself to the world....or to whoever is reading this....

My name is Kisha. 
I am 28 years old, married for 3 years but have been with my husband for 9.5.
We live in Ontario Canada.
We have been trying to conceive for 3 years.

We have been successful at getting pregnant once during this time, which ended in a miscarriage.
We struggle with infertility as I have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrom (PCOS).

That is pretty much the short and sweet of it....I plan to write out a little more about our infertility history, and what is to come in the future in this blog....maybe some random off topic subjects, rants, what not....

Welcome :)